I don’t know why I feel I need to write this down but it helps to de-clutter my over active brain. Nobody needs to explain themselves to anyone, but I explain things to myself by writing down the nonsense in my head.
An incident happened a few weeks back that was more linked to my low moods and depression than anxiety, but I just had to take myself offline. It wasn’t a setback or anything, just a complete misunderstanding but I felt completely forced to steer myself away from the land of social media. I felt like I couldn’t post anything, or if I did, it would be taken the completely wrong way. It’s actually really easy to come offline, but when I’m in a low mood I usually get a mood lift from the #talkMH community and coming offline, never allowed me to do this. It’s probably not ideal, but sometimes I feel like I depend on these guys to help me get through the tough times. But it’s because, they too, understand how it feels to go through these emotions. This incident caused me to feel like I couldn’t go online at all, which made me feel isolated and I felt like I had no one I could talk to.
On the other hand, coming offline can work miracles. I’ve not had a panic attack or any kind of episode in over 6 months. Gonna big myself up here but I have been absolutely kicking this anxiety disorders ass. It’s good to celebrate how far you’ve come! And back then, I never thought I’d be able to get this far.
Recently, my head has been going a little crazy which is an absolute nuisance considering I have had it under control for 6 months. When my anxiety flares up – god help you if you have to be around me. I don’t know what to do with myself. I shake, I itch, it’s awful. I have yet to find a coping mechanism which will calm me down when situations I don’t feel comfortable in occur. I’m good at giving out advice to others and suggesting ideas on how they can make themselves feel more comfortable but when it comes to myself, absolute useless so I am. Anyway, this week I had two minor panic attacks – public transport and my brain are just not friends at all. I have no idea what brought this on because I’m used to getting the bus to work. So yes, that happened and afterwards I felt like absolute poop.
My mind was going at 1000 miles per hour and I knew I needed to take a step back. So when I got home, the first thing I did was turn my phone off. I had a long, hot shower to try and calm myself down. I decided that tonight, I would completely come off social media and take a break from everything online. Twitter and the blogosphere is my favourite place to be sometimes – but it is also such a fast paced environment. And when you’re anxiety is not intact, then it can be quite daunting trying to keep up with everything going on. Yes, I felt that I was missing out on chats and stuff but for a change, I thought I’d put my own mental health first. Coming offline allowed me to sit back and slow things down in my over active mind. I read and watched some telly. Stuff I do every night but without scrolling through my Twitter feed at the same time. Once I’d got over not checking my phone a few times in 10 minutes, I got used to being offline. It meant I could actually concentrate on what I was watching and completely unwind.
This is kind of a pointless post but I think that if you’re having a bit of a rough time or are just winding yourself up about things and overthinking, coming offline can work miracles. People may disagree with me and say it gives them more time to overthink, and I understand that too, it’s all personal preferences. But honestly, I would thoroughly recommend coming offline and spending some time alone and practicing self care. Go and read, watch telly, walk. Simply have a bath. Anything to focus on yourself.
Do you have any suggestions on what makes you unwind?