This post is strange and unstructured and just a bit of a ramble to be honest so bare with me.
Ever since I can remember I have always struggled with body image. I have always been overweight and I know that I have no one to blame but myself. I’m pretty active, especially since the beginning of this year as I am trying to proactively change my lifestyle. Food is my problem. I love it way too much and eat it way too much. My relationship with food absolutely SUCKS.
I’m about to start getting help towards changing my attitude towards food and I’m absolutely delighted because it needs to change so badly. It’s taken a lot for me to do this though, a lot a lot. Admitting you have a problem is a massive step and by god, it’s the hardest. I know that I’m gonna have to work so hard to change my mind set but I’m always up for a challenge.
There’s no way in hell that I’m going to stop eating things I love because that’s just not who I am and I know that refusing myself certain foods will make me more likely to binge. But I’m going to really work hard on moderating these foods and cutting a lot out.
Anyway, I realised that I can’t sit about hating my body any longer, I’m working on it and as long as I’m being proactive then that’s all that matters. I need to start focusing on the things that I do like about it and hopefully over time, that list will get longer. Instead of sitting around hating every inch of me, I’m trying to do what I can to make me feel good about my appearance.
Experimenting with my make up looks has become a way that has made me start to appreciate some of my features. Everyone has there own opinions on make up and why you should or shouldn’t rely on it. But that’s not what this post is about.
I’ve been branching out with my make up choices and it is honestly doing wonders for my self confidence. Somehow, I’ve managed to add seven eye palettes to my collection in the past four months and there are still so many more I want. I would never have worn eye shadow much at all before, maybe on a night out if I was feeling super adventurous but it would have been nothing more than a light nude shade or little bit of sparkle. Now I find myself watching tutorials on YouTube and I won’t leave the house at the weekend without eye shadow on. I just feel like a bold eye can make you feel so much better about yourself and can really make a lot of your facial features stand out.
Never in a million years did I think I’d have the balls to wear an almost black shade on my lip. Last weekend for the first time, I did, and man, I felt good! The people I was with were surprised at how dark I’d gone but I absolutely loved it and I felt so much more confident.
The dark lip was for a night out but it’s not just on special occasions I’m being more adventurous. This time six months ago I probably wouldn’t have even worn lipstick on a day to day basis but now I refuse to leave the house without it. To begin with, I mostly wore nudes but now I’m going for all sorts. Plums, dark browns, you name it.
It’s not just make up that’s helping me embrace myself. It’s my outfits and accepting my natural self too. I’ve completely stopped using heat on my hair on an everyday basis and will only do so on nights out or special occasions. I’m on a mission to look after my body better, whether that’s what going into it, my hair or my skin. I’m trying to maintain and better the things that I myself, have control of.
I really don’t know what the point of this post was and it most likely won’t bring any benefit to anyone else but I had to write it down for myself. Sure, I didn’t need to share it but I want to look back and being able to reflect on the progress of my self confidence.
If you’re struggling with your body image at the moment, take some time to reflect on why this is. Try and learn to love different parts of yourself, even if it’s only 3 little things. The rest will grow from there.