Do you ever feel so disconnected from everything? That’s how I feel at the moment and it’s strange. It’s not making me happy yet it’s not making me sad. It’s making me feel distant. From everything and everyone.
I feel like I’m not achieving anything at the moment, I’m just kind of getting on with day to day life and existing. But what use is existing? I want to live. And I know that I’m the only person who can make that happen. I’ve been doing lots of things with my time and haven’t been as active on social media. Not because I’ve wanted to spend time offline, but just because I don’t feel like I have anything to say. Which honestly, is not like me . AT ALL.
I just can’t put my finger on what it is and I just want to be full of energy again.
I have a small circle of friends who are absolutely amazing. Everyone has busy lives and I completely understand this as I, too struggle with keeping up with people. I’m the sort of person who freaks out if I feel like I haven’t put much effort into meeting up with friends. I don’t know why because we are all so busy, but I just feel so much guilt. I don’t know where I’m going with this but I just need to get it out. I’ve been putting in lots of effort the past few weeks to see friends that are available but I still feel disconnected from people. It makes me think. Are we all too busy in our day to day lives that we forget to think of how we are feeling? I have no idea.
I just don’t feel anything at all really. When I think back on my week and to stuff I was doing I think to myself ‘was I actually there?’ Sometimes, it just doesn’t feel like I was at all. It’s strange. It kind of feels like an outer body experience or something. This post is completely pointless but I guess I’m just letting it out and wondering if anyone else gets like this too? I hope this post doesn’t come across as negative, because that’s not how I’m feeling. It’s just the truth. I have no idea if this feeling is anything to do with my mental health but it is bothering me a lot.
I don’t feel sad which is good. Because I hate feeling sad. I would say I feel empty. It’s just all very weird. I’m going to try my best everyday to write a little about how I feel and what’s going on inside my head, I won’t know if it works until I try. I like doing things that help me understand my mind more so here’s hoping!
I don’t know why I’ve published this post but it feels good letting it out.
I hope you’re all well!