Alone time vs Feeling Alone

I absolutely love having alone time. There’s nothing better than zoning out and reading a book or listening to music. Everybody has there own way of having alone time, whether they realise it or not. We all need time to recuperate and chill out. Whether that’s going to the gym, taking a long shower, watching Netflix or crafting. We all need a little bit of time to ourselves. Some people love being constantly surrounded by people and some people don’t, and I am one of those people.

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For me, there’s a fine line between alone time and feeling alone. And a lot of the time I cannot identify where, or more so, when, that line is. I’ve always loved time to myself as it allows my head to switch off and relax for a while. It’s not that I love my own company and don’t like socialising, I do, but sometimes there’s nothing better than getting lost in your own world. I look forward to getting home from work every night because I know I’m going to my little safe haven that is my flat.

If I’ve had a few busy weekends, I try and have the next weekend to myself with no plans. And to be honest, I look forward to it all week. But when the weekend comes, I feel like it’s somehow an anticlimax. And I don’t know why. It’s not as if I’m not productive, which is one of the few things that gets me down at home. Even on weeknights I try to do at least one piece of housework. So if I’ve planned a weekend to myself, I give myself an even bigger task to do, usually something I’ve been putting off for a while.

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I enjoy the Friday night and try to have that to myself, even on busy weekends. But when it gets to Saturday, I don’t know what to do with myself. All the Netflix programmes I’d planned to watch during the week, just don’t appeal to me by the Saturday. And I don’t know why. I get bored and crave people’s company. Which baffles me because I mostly like to be on my own. And then I get annoyed at myself for not enjoying my alone time. It’s a lose-lose situation.

I put too much pressure on myself to enjoy as much as I can. I have these ideas and expectations of how much I should be enjoying myself when having alone time but the pressure just makes me overwhelmed. I enjoy having time to myself when I haven’t got any expectations or plans of what I’m going to do during my time to myself. Alone time is meant for winding down, relaxing and not having plans so why do I push myself to try and always achieve something during it?

I just can’t seem to get the balance right when it comes to alone time turning into feeling lonely. I don’t know where I’m going wrong. I could limit my alone time but I feel like I shouldn’t have to. Why should I control how long I switch off for? Sometimes it might not be long enough.

Do you ever feel this way? How do you stop yourself feeling alone when you want to have alone time?

Much love,

louise-x

 

 

1 Comment

  1. This hits home, Louise! I also loooove my alone time, but sometimes I indulge in it too much and end up feeling lonely, which then snowballs into me feeling like complete shit.
    I’m also working on finding balance, so while I can’t give you advice, just wanted to say that I’m in the same boat ❤

    xo
    Srna

    Liked by 1 person

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